In over my head

So the 15-year-old is stuck in AP Euro class till the end of the term. She's in way over her head. Is she smart enough to pass this class? Yes. Is she willing to put in the kind of work that would be required for her to pass this class? No.

She's been bugging us to go to the library for a book she's supposed to read for class. I think it is due by next Thursday. Every time we've gone to take her she's made other plans. Finally I told her last night we were going that minute. When we got there asked her what book it was she needed. She couldn't remember the name of any of the books on the list, but she's looking for the one with the least number of pages, so had to text a friend and ask.

"A Tale of Two Cities"

Nuh-uh. If I had a dime for every time I picked up that book and put it back down again... I only finally made myself read the whole thing about 10 years ago. And I'm an English major.

Today the following e-mail exchange took place:

Me:

Hi Mr. Smith,

Could you please provide me with the list of books to be read for your AP Euro class? I want to make sure Lindsay is reading the right book for her.

Thank you very much--

Dalene

Mr. Smith:

Here's the list:

1. Candide - Voltaire

2. War and Peace - Tolstoy

3. 7 Men of Gascony - Delderfield

4. Napoleon - Schom

5. Lorna Doone – Blackmore

6. Tale of Two Cities – Dickens

7. Three Musketeers – Dumas

8. Don Quixote - Cervantes

9. Wealth of Nations - Smith

Thanks!

My fifteen-year-old...War and Peace? Candide? Don Quixote? By December 9?

Yeah, right.

Checking out

So... ever since I discovered there are people I can't trust in my ward, who are cyber-stalking my every move I've been in a funk about socializing with people from Church. And since no one will 'fess up to who they are...I have been emotionally checked out of my ward, my callings, anything that will put me in any kind of contact with people who would be such a bunch of ______.

I have a friend in primary who mentioned that they hadn't gotten around to celebrating my daughter's birthdays in primary. Their birthdays were the last two weeks of September. It's November now.

I don't even know if I should bother bringing it up. It's clear as day that there is a vendetta against my family because I refuse to conform to faking my way around the ward. Which is kind of useful as a whole bucket-load of people are actively avoiding me and my family because I officially have a Scarlett letter on my chest. It is also really helpful in identifying those that are loyal, worthy friends. It's clear that in my ward anyone who is willing to speak their mind will immediately be reprimanded and not only that, they'll take it out on your kids.

So... question - do I even bother with these kind of people, or just chalk it up to... the Church would be great without all the people. OR - gospel is true - it's the people who aren't.

I am only going to my ward now, because primary could be good for my girls... although, even this theory is currently up for debate.

Trust is big for me... and when it is shattered... there's no gaining it back.

ps. I'm also writing on a gloomy, rainy day...and if you know me... I am solar powered. Today is just depressing.

Heels

I must admit I rolled my eyes when Sissy G put on a pair of strappy 4 inch heels to go to Sam's Club with me today.
I decided it was a battle I'd rather not fight and agreed to let her wear them....certain she would take them off within minutes for comfort's sake.
I was wrong...my girly girl not only wore them the entire shopping trip, but strode, strutted, and glided in them like a runway model!!
I don't encourage this. In fact, I think heels--while they look pretty and make your legs look better--are ridiculous in everyday living. (It doesn't mean if you wear them I think YOU are ridiculous) I think they are going to ruin your feet. That's all I'm sayin'.
I'm uber practical. I'm busy. I work hard. And I can't be bothered with feet that hurt!
(It doesn't mean if you wear them I think you aren't any of the above)
At 12 years old, she's already 5'4". Her birthmother was 5'11" and the birthfather was nearly 7'. She is going to be tall. Heels may not be something she is interested in for much longer.

When a fun song with a good beat came on overhead, I looked over and Sissy Girl was dancing in her fancy heels like no one was watching. With twirls, chass'es, and step ball changes.

Oh, to be that uninhibited....

We went to the shoe store later. I bought myself a nice pair of practical flats and two pairs of adorable peep toe heels for her.

I know I won't always delight in our differences...but I have a feeling my dear daughter will be teaching me a thing or two about style.....and substance.

Free Range Kids

A mom called Lenore Skenazy has kicked up a fire storm of both condemnation and empathy for her call to return children's independence. What did she do?

She lets her kid ride the New York subways alone.

I don't think that Skenazy intended to be the most public face in the burgeoning movement to let our kids 'free range' again, but by going as public as to write a few columns about it, has made her the point person. Since the parenting trend has leaned towards more helicopter than free range, Skenazy has faced some serious condemnation.

Frankly, I agree with Skenazy. OUR KIDS HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS SAFE. Just because the media seizes on the one-in-a-million (literally) cases doesn't mean our kids are in constant danger. It's more likely that they will be harmed at home and by people they know than in any other way.

New York City, for instance, is safer than it's ever been; it's ranked 136th in crime among all American cities. Nationwide, stranger abductions are extremely rare; there's a one-in-a-million chance a child will be taken by a stranger, according to the Justice Department. And 90 percent of sexual abuse cases are committed by someone the child knows. Mortality rates from all causes, including disease and accidents, for American children are lower now than they were 25 years ago. according to Child Trends, a nonprofit, nonpartisan research group, between 1980 and 2003 death rates dropped by 44 percent for children ages five to 14 and 32 percent for teens aged 15 to 19.

Obviously, we should do what makes us comfortable, but for some of us, that's going to mean letting our kids walk to school by themselves, running to the store for errands (a loaf of bread, a container of milk, a stick of butter,) and letting them make some of their own decisions. I fully expect that in a couple years I'll wave goodbye to El Guille as he peddles off by himself to a friend's house or other activities. For her part, Lenore's son is nine years old, an age where I would feel utterly comfortable letting Guille go to school by himself.

Are we so nervous about what could happen that we don't let our kids experience the chance to manage their own time, make their own choices, and exercise independence?


I, for one, can't wait to start reading Lenore's blog, called appropriately Free Range Kids.


What are your thoughts?

The church dilemma

So, we caught some flack today for snaking a pew from another family.
But I ask you: Would you rather sit somewhere else or listen to two toddlers yell at eachother from across the chapel?

"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"

(As it was, the two love birds spent the entire meeting under the pew, burping and spitting on each other, then howling with laughter. But guess what? I got to LISTEN to the speakers!)