Too Ridiculous to be Fiction

... okay... today I'm posting a bad father story.

It's my husband's father. I just can't help but ask... shout to the universe - who does this kind of crap?

About 2-3 years ago my husband's mother and oldest brother were killed in a car accident in Hungary. The youngest brother, who they were picking up from his mission in Hungary, was the only one in the car that escaped all injury. He also had two friends in the car with them who were both injured. The father had stayed behind in the hotel that day.

Since that point in time my husband's father - who still had six, grown children to comfort and support, as they had lost their mother and brother - checked out. He continued to act selfishly, immaturely and frankly... displayed his true character...we think.

He was not an achiever, and is a porn addict. His wife was an achiever, college degree, school board, well-known in the community, and Church. The big joke in their family was that when they were to be married in the temple she hoped he wouldn't show up... and he joked that he thought the same thing. She was always disappointed he didn't serve a mission, or even complete a college degree. He was always losing jobs. Everyone considered him weak. They blamed her for it. Turns out, without her to hide behind, his selfish, petty nature was exposed.

Little less than a year or so he met a woman online. She is a woman who'd lived on welfare her entire life. And said that her quadriplegic husband left her and her kids. Can someone explain that one to me? Due to the death of his wife - my husband's father used the insurance money and went on a spending spree with his new girlfriend. Lavish, excursions... etc... despite the fact that the kids all knew, based on emails and other discovery... their father decided to marry this woman in the LDS temple in Hawaii. The kids were not at that ceremony.

Then my husband's father and his new wife started to unceremoniously discard anything, and everything of my husband's mother. They were insensitive to the feelings and emotions the six kids were going through.

And now... their father just emailed the kids in his family to tell them that his life insurance is set to be renewed soon - and he has opted, due to his squandering all his death money - can't afford his life insurance, and is throwing it over to the kids to decide whether they want to pay for it or not. Side note... he does have life insurance for his current wife...and he just recently leased a brand new car...and is unemployed.

What?????

Who does that?

The kids are trying to decide what to do...with legal backing etc... but my opinion? Wash our hands of it. Who cares about the life insurance... forget the pathetic loser.

I can't imagine... how my husband's mother had to suffer being married to someone who is a complete, and utter disappointment. Can you imagine her watching her husband completely mistreating her children right now? She's rolling over in her grave... to say that I loathe this person... who is not in any way a man... is merely an understatement. He's like a disease. I don't think it's any mistake that his first wife who was skinny when she married him... became extremely overweight. And now... his new welfare wife... started off skinny - and in the last 1-2 years has ballooned to twice her original size, leaning towards obese. He is a disgusting infection.

I am stunned that I know someone like this. It's utterly mental.

I can be normal again, well relatively speaking

Hey

just so you know miracles DO happen (and also, life goes back to normal)

Guess who's napping right now?  And only cried for a minute when I put him down.

Guess who else is going to go take a nap?



This is an easy quiz.

Now for the Flabbergasted response

I have to give credit to my friend Cabesh. I think I was so utterly stunned that someone would be this uptight about something that they'd send me an email that evening of the activity to complain... that I really was at a complete loss. I wanted to do the right thing... but my lunatic meter was vibrating like mad. When crazy people do crazy things... surprising me a bit... I start to think I am crazy.

So I took Cabesh's email and just added a few details. If it were me, off the cuff... I'd be much less charitable - because I can't stand ridiculous behavior, immature, and insecure women. They drive me crazy, and cause ridiculous amounts of drama, requiring the rest of us to tiptoe around on eggshells.

Dear Parent,

I'm so sorry that your daughter didn't have an enjoyable time at our class activity last night. We were really striving to build sisterhood and friendship amongst the girls while celebrating the birth of our Savior and the spirit of giving. Our Pres/Laurel advisor was sick last night so we went ahead and had the Laurels combine with us. There were only three of them.

I'm not sure which gift your daughter brought or who it ended up with (me, or one of the other leaders, or a laurel). When we have activities, as leaders we try to participate as much as we can to create enthusiasm and to teach by example-- it's amazing how much more willing the girls are to do service and to be involved when they see that we leaders are into it. So, with that as our general philosophy, we did participate in the gift exchange.

When it was my turn to pick a gift, I let my 3yo go pick one out for me. When that gift was "stolen" (we allowed 3 steals per gift) I let my 5yo have a turn to pick my gift. I'm not sure what the standard rules are other than whoever brings a gift gets to participate. It seemed like everyone was having a great time, and girls at this age are so great with little ones. In fact they were encouraging my girls to pick certain gifts when they were picking them in my place. We also had three extra gifts left over so we let one of the leaders who didn't bring a gift pick one out. Then the YW decided they wanted to give the leftover two gifts to my girls. I guess I should have told the girls they were not allowed to give them to my girls. If your daughter's gift is one of the three that ended up in my home I'd be happy to return it to her so she can pass it on to one of the other YW. Please let me know which one it was.

Again, I am sorry that your daughter felt disappointed. I hope that she knows how much we love and appreciate her. She is quite talented at offering ideas when we're planning activities.

Merry Christmas,
QS

ps. I have been waiting for a response... and guess what... not a shocker - there hasn't been one. Bets on if she ever will? Or maybe just sneer and continue the cold-front towards my family. Oh...and I need to mention... her oldest daughter let slip her father is racist against... Asians. Nice huh? He was recently released as our Home Teacher... don't worry he only came once out of obligation. (thank heavens...) Living in Calif...a racist... how ignorant can you get???


pps. I'm being released as Beehive adviser and moved into Laurels this Sunday. Which is kind of a relief. Because now I finally get to work with a woman (my friend/pres of yw) who knows who she is, is confident, and a great example...and knows how to be a leader.

Flabbergasted

WE recently had a Beehive activity (for 12-13 yr old girls)... at my home, where I baked chocolate chunk cookies and sugar cookies and provided hot chocolate. We did a white elephant gift exchange where the leaders participated because that's how you foster enthusiasm for activities, etc... As it was at my house... I let my 3 yr old pick out my gift when it was my turn. She picked a box of Andes mints... because she likes chocolate. It was quickly "stolen" from her. So I had my 5 yr old go and pick out a present for me. She was a bit terrified at first because all the girls started coaxing her to take this present and that present. The majority wanted her to pick the giant present. So she did... it was a bag of skittles and a chili pepper pinata. It never did get stolen from her. Then at the end of it all... there were three extra gifts left. So we let a leader who hadn't brought anything take a gift. Then the girls decided to give my girls the remaining two gifts - a plastic sword and a big ball of string. That evening I receive the following email from one of the parents of the girls.

Thank you for your help with the Beehives, I know it can be a handful! I wanted to let you know of a small concern I had about tonight's activity (and please know that I realize I wasn't there). My daughter & I had worked to come up with a white elephant gift for tonights activity. We were under the impression that the game was for the beehives only. When I picked her up I was disappointed to hear that the items we picked didn't end up with a beehive girl. I felt like if this was a Christmas item exchange for the girls to think of each other and have fun, then it missed the mark when the game didn't follow the standard rules. I appreciate your working with the girls and I hope you can understand that when they have a negative experience it becomes that much harder for me to keep them interested in coming. Thank you for your hard work and concern, ME Should I mention she's our Primary President??? ( I'll post my response after I hear what ya'll have to say.

Rude...or Socially Inept?

So there's this woman that is in our ward/neighborhood.

I can't figure her out, and have pretty much given up, and given her a wide berth so I don't have to interact with her much. I have tried in the past to be reach out to her - but it is clear she's a different kind of cookie.

She's the woman that refuses to teach in primary because she's with her kids all week.
She's the former lawyer who won't stop reminding you that she was a former lawyer.
She's the one that only likes to be up there demonstrating, as a gospel doctrine teacher, how smart she is, or how connected she is to GAs...etc...
She's the one that doesn't talk to you, if you're not important enough when there are other more important people (in her eyes) around.
She's the one that if you're a new move-in she'll only talk to you if you are sporting the labels of material success.
She's the one that if you say hello to her in the hallways of church she ignores you.

She's the one that has announced publicly how dissatisfied she is with her husband.

So - despite all that... I try to be nice when I'm around her...I know... I'm silly.

Turns out her daughter is in my daughter's kindergarten class. Her daughter is adorable - she looks like the little "who" girl from The Grinch that Stole Christmas... the little upturned nose.

I mentioned to her - and my other friend (the one that used to be a lawyer but doesn't keep dwelling on it...) how great my daughter's teacher was - going the extra mile etc... (that I mention in this most recent post).

Her reaction was a bit shocking.

QS: Isn't that amazing? I was so touched by the teacher. She really went the extra-mile.

The Grinch Lady: So she's going to wear her glasses... why? What is that going to do?

QS: I imagine it might make my daughter feel more comfortable - accepted.

The Grinch Lady: Well, that's too bad for the good kids when the teacher spends so much time tending to the problem children.

I didn't know what to say or how to react - this was not the perspective I had. Nor was it a normal reaction I anticipated. I had related the experience with the teacher to a friend of mine who is not LDS... has polar opposite political views...and she nearly started crying along with me.

I returned home and told my hubby about this - and he is of the assumption that she is incredibly awkward... but in this case he just shook his head and mumbled something.

I had no idea that a child who needs a little time, acceptance and kindness was a problem child. I can't tell if she's thoughtless, jealous, disdainful or just plain rude.

She later talked about her son who is being teased because of his math skills. Apparently he knows math the other kids don't. She talked about how he wanted to learn more math skills - and she was having a hard time remembering the more advanced stuff and thought to herself - do you really want to continue along this line ...you'll only be mocked.

I was the listener telling her how great it is to have a son who wants to learn... she was just kind of... bleh about it.

Weird.

Lord, please grant me patience.

I would never say that someone else is not a good mommy. Still...

I mean, the kid clearly won't drink so much water that she dies, so there is that.

Because it only takes 15 minuts for dinner... uh huh...riiiiiigggght...

Did you know that potty-training takes NO EFFORT?

Did you know that latching a baby also takes NO EFFORT?

Writing a series of novels, with baby on my lap takes NO EFFORT whatsoever? The characters just speak and I am the stenographer....

Well guess what? Yep - FAMILY SCRIPTURE READING TAKES ....wait for it... NO EFFORT!

Here's how:

6p: Dinner (no TV after dinner)

6:15: Tidy house up

6:45: Bath / get ready for bed (mom and dad too)

7pm: Meet in mom & dads room for scripture study

7:30: Family prayer

7:30: Bed

IT WORKS WITHOUT EFFORT!

I don't know about you...but dinner takes longer than 15 min for my family... and we have one less than them. Also... really? 5 people - with three kids under the age of 8... only 15 min for baths and teeth brushing...etc...? REALLY? REALLY?!

... this is not a joke - this was an email sent to our Relief Society blast list by a woman in our ward who is... for lack of a better word - delusional. She and her husband would leave their kids at Church on Sunday... so when we had to find them because the kids were acting up ... they were no where to be found. Yep - free babysitting on Sundays baby.

But... don't you all feel better now? NO EFFORT... NONE... YIPEE...

Zero to Sixty and Back Again

Yesterday Dora was talking about what she wanted to be when she grew up. She turned to the audience and yelled "What do YOU want to be when you grow up?" And Jooj answered "Jooj wants to be a mommy!"

YES!

A few hours later when watching it again, Dora turned to the audience and yelled "What do YOU want to be when you grow up?" And Jooj answered "Jooj wants to be a ChooChoo Twain."

And we're back.


I really hope that the recording angels were paying attention EARLIER on in the day.

Got Milk?

Lactation may prove lucrative...? At least in the Switzerland. Check it out.

Kids need to get air and have fun

...Just ask Grandma... Click HERE

Three Kids... you snob

This article cracked me up...Click HERE.

Who knew more kids = Status - Populating Mormons beware.

My favorite quote: "The way we figure it, one day our children will be grateful for what we didn't give them -- and what we did for them instead."

Wait, They Come That Way?

"New research shows that in most cases the personalities displayed very early in life— as young as preschool — will stay with us into adulthood. The wallflowers will stay shy and reticent, though they will learn in time to be a little more sociable and assertive. And the average kids, the more resilient ones, will remain so. " source.

Dear Scientists,

Duh.

We know. You could have just asked your mom. She would have told you that you were born with your personality.

She then would have told you to make sure that you're saving at least 20% of your research money for a rainy day. Oh, and do you need some new socks? She saw some for sale last week in ShopKo but can't remember if you like the goldtoe or some ankle-highs. Call her as soon as you can because your Cousin Louise is coming into town and she'd like to see the kids.

Yours cordially,
Azucar

A Good Mommy/Bad Mommy Birthday Party

I came across my new almost-friend Sue's blog, Navel Gazing, the other day and had to share her tips on throwing a last minute birthday party for a three year old.

Her tips cover:
*How to make a Ghetto Pinata
*Ensuring a full guest list
*The roles of Tootsie Rolls

I seriously laughed so hard at the description of the ghetto pinata that my three year old wanted to know what was happening.

Enjoy!