A few weeks ago I took li'l ~j. shopping. It was a Saturday, and we went to a place I had never been before, but had heard about good deals and whatnot. It was the kind of outlet store which included furniture, bedding, trinkets, jewelry, and clothes that would never fit yours truly.
We found a few items for li'l ~j. to try on, and we went into the changing room (she'll be 10 next week -- she still wants me with her in the fitting room). While she was getting dressed, she was talking. Talking, talking, talking. I know that children don't always have the most fascinating things to say when they're that age, but I make the effort to let her know that I'm really listening, that I really hear what she's saying. (This takes much effort on my part.) She was telling me about a conversation she had with a girl at school . . .
"...and she told me, 'ALL' grown-ups swear,' and I told her, 'Not all of them,' and she said, 'I'll bet you a million dollars that they do,' and I said, 'Sure!' and we shook hands and then she said, 'Okay, now give me a million dollars,' and I told her, 'You're wrong, I KNOW that my mom doesn't swear,' and she said, 'I bet she does,' and I said, 'I think I know my mom better than you do, and I promise that she doesn't swear.' Right, Mom?"
*ahem*
"Right."
Starting now.
I heard her that time.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
How Dare You Feed Me Minced Fish!!?!
Have you seen this commercial?
It makes me SO angry.
Initially, I was cheesed because of the dialogue. I mean, who thinks it cute for a little girl to speak to her mother that way? Not me. If Jooj talked to me like that (being honest--WHEN Jooj talks to me like that) she gets disciplined. Because it is not okay. Because I am the mom and she is not. And if I want to buy her minced fish then, by gum, she will eat it and shut up about it. Because she is four, and minced fish is not any worse than whole fish sticks. Fish sticks are fish sticks. In fact, in order to mince fish the manufacturer has to use BETTER fish to begin with, because lesser-quality fish won't hold up through the mincing process.
About the third time I saw this, though, I realized there was much more to it than the sassy little sasspot bossing her mother around. The thing that makes me the angriest about this commercial is that it is designed to make mothers feel guilty about feeding their children something "inferior." Which is total crap. I know that it is a tried-and-true marketing technique, but there is something about the child blatantly telling her mother that she is terrible for her fish purchase that enrages me. It makes me never want to buy this brand ever again.
But, really, this is not about fish sticks. It is about tapping into the guilt that mommies face every day. It is about advertisers pushing the idea that whatever a mother does, it is never enough. Not only are we expected to bear and raise and teach and nurture our young, but we had better do it with the most expensive, modern products available. For Pete's sake, they are applying the whole Madonna/Whore concept to FISH FINGERS.
And this is why I yell at my television.
It makes me SO angry.
Initially, I was cheesed because of the dialogue. I mean, who thinks it cute for a little girl to speak to her mother that way? Not me. If Jooj talked to me like that (being honest--WHEN Jooj talks to me like that) she gets disciplined. Because it is not okay. Because I am the mom and she is not. And if I want to buy her minced fish then, by gum, she will eat it and shut up about it. Because she is four, and minced fish is not any worse than whole fish sticks. Fish sticks are fish sticks. In fact, in order to mince fish the manufacturer has to use BETTER fish to begin with, because lesser-quality fish won't hold up through the mincing process.
About the third time I saw this, though, I realized there was much more to it than the sassy little sasspot bossing her mother around. The thing that makes me the angriest about this commercial is that it is designed to make mothers feel guilty about feeding their children something "inferior." Which is total crap. I know that it is a tried-and-true marketing technique, but there is something about the child blatantly telling her mother that she is terrible for her fish purchase that enrages me. It makes me never want to buy this brand ever again.
But, really, this is not about fish sticks. It is about tapping into the guilt that mommies face every day. It is about advertisers pushing the idea that whatever a mother does, it is never enough. Not only are we expected to bear and raise and teach and nurture our young, but we had better do it with the most expensive, modern products available. For Pete's sake, they are applying the whole Madonna/Whore concept to FISH FINGERS.
And this is why I yell at my television.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Sometimes it is Okay to Feel Superior
God love her, I am so glad that this is not me or my child. Bless her heart.
Mummy's Little Lolita
Mummy's Little Lolita
Thursday, March 19, 2009
(hopefully) there are no small things
There are lots of things I don't get right about mothering. Some of it is a reaction to my own childhood (I will never ever force my child to eat). Some of it is because I'm more suited to being a slacker mom than a helicopter mom. I'm not beating myself up about it here, it is what it is.
But every now and then I get something right. And what I love about getting something right is that instant reward you see in your child's eyes.
Today is one of L~'s best friend's birthdays. Her name is Alisa. And I love this girl. There are weeks and weekends in which she practically lives at my house (another story for another day). Not only is she a lot of fun, but when L~ is a real snot, Alisa always says to her "Don't treat your mom like that." She's a year younger than L~, so I have a lot of respect for her standing up for me like that.
This morning L~ came in and woke me up (usually I would have been first up, but I stayed up too late last night reading about my new love--forensic anthropology). She'd had good intentions to get Alisa some balloons for her birthday and take them to school (not allowed, but Shhhh. Don't tell.). I was half asleep and let her work out her own dilemma and go back to her room, disappointed, to get ready.
And then I thought about what a good friend Alisa is and I figured I had just enough time to run L~ to Macey's for balloons and drop her off at school. I knew it would mean a lot to L~ to be able to do something like that and thoughtfulness is something I want to encourage in my kids.
I really wanted to stay in bed, so I almost didn't do it.
But I willed myself to full consciousness and forced myself get up and find L~ to suggest my idea.
And there it was. That brief but rewarding sparkle in her eyes, where just for a moment, she perceived and registered the love behind my offer.
"Thank you," she said.
And she meant it.
I meant it, too.
But every now and then I get something right. And what I love about getting something right is that instant reward you see in your child's eyes.
Today is one of L~'s best friend's birthdays. Her name is Alisa. And I love this girl. There are weeks and weekends in which she practically lives at my house (another story for another day). Not only is she a lot of fun, but when L~ is a real snot, Alisa always says to her "Don't treat your mom like that." She's a year younger than L~, so I have a lot of respect for her standing up for me like that.
This morning L~ came in and woke me up (usually I would have been first up, but I stayed up too late last night reading about my new love--forensic anthropology). She'd had good intentions to get Alisa some balloons for her birthday and take them to school (not allowed, but Shhhh. Don't tell.). I was half asleep and let her work out her own dilemma and go back to her room, disappointed, to get ready.
And then I thought about what a good friend Alisa is and I figured I had just enough time to run L~ to Macey's for balloons and drop her off at school. I knew it would mean a lot to L~ to be able to do something like that and thoughtfulness is something I want to encourage in my kids.
I really wanted to stay in bed, so I almost didn't do it.
But I willed myself to full consciousness and forced myself get up and find L~ to suggest my idea.
And there it was. That brief but rewarding sparkle in her eyes, where just for a moment, she perceived and registered the love behind my offer.
"Thank you," she said.
And she meant it.
I meant it, too.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I am so tired of being a Bad Mommy. How do I know I am a Bad Mommy? Because my daughter keeps telling me. She is almost four.
I try my hardest every doggone day. Some days my hardest is pretty pathetic. Some days it is near-heroic.
And every day she cries for her father, her grandparents, her cousins. She tells me "I don't like you." She hits and fights and lies refuses to listen and I am so incredibly sick of it.
I know that there is nothing that can take the place of the mother, but I am at the point where I would be willing to test that statement.
I know that she is only four; I know that she doesn't understand all of what she is saying and doing. I know that she certainly doesn't mean to break my heart every single night. But I also know that other kids don't seem to be doing this. Other kids are talking about Jesus and helping and being like Mommy.
Which means that every night I get on my knees, sometimes in tears, and pray to know what I am doing wrong.
I try my hardest every doggone day. Some days my hardest is pretty pathetic. Some days it is near-heroic.
And every day she cries for her father, her grandparents, her cousins. She tells me "I don't like you." She hits and fights and lies refuses to listen and I am so incredibly sick of it.
I know that there is nothing that can take the place of the mother, but I am at the point where I would be willing to test that statement.
I know that she is only four; I know that she doesn't understand all of what she is saying and doing. I know that she certainly doesn't mean to break my heart every single night. But I also know that other kids don't seem to be doing this. Other kids are talking about Jesus and helping and being like Mommy.
Which means that every night I get on my knees, sometimes in tears, and pray to know what I am doing wrong.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Because it only takes 15 minuts for dinner... uh huh...riiiiiigggght...
Did you know that potty-training takes NO EFFORT?
Did you know that latching a baby also takes NO EFFORT?
Writing a series of novels, with baby on my lap takes NO EFFORT whatsoever? The characters just speak and I am the stenographer....
Well guess what? Yep - FAMILY SCRIPTURE READING TAKES ....wait for it... NO EFFORT!
Here's how:
Did you know that latching a baby also takes NO EFFORT?
Writing a series of novels, with baby on my lap takes NO EFFORT whatsoever? The characters just speak and I am the stenographer....
Well guess what? Yep - FAMILY SCRIPTURE READING TAKES ....wait for it... NO EFFORT!
Here's how:
6p: Dinner (no TV after dinner)
6:15: Tidy house up
6:45: Bath / get ready for bed (mom and dad too)
7pm: Meet in mom & dads room for scripture study
7:30: Family prayer
7:30: Bed
IT WORKS WITHOUT EFFORT!
I don't know about you...but dinner takes longer than 15 min for my family... and we have one less than them. Also... really? 5 people - with three kids under the age of 8... only 15 min for baths and teeth brushing...etc...? REALLY? REALLY?!
... this is not a joke - this was an email sent to our Relief Society blast list by a woman in our ward who is... for lack of a better word - delusional. She and her husband would leave their kids at Church on Sunday... so when we had to find them because the kids were acting up ... they were no where to be found. Yep - free babysitting on Sundays baby.
But... don't you all feel better now? NO EFFORT... NONE... YIPEE...
Monday, December 15, 2008
Do You Believe in Christmas Miracles?
I do....
THIS WAS NOT MY CHILD!
Boy, 4, breaks into Texas store, plays with toys
BEAUMONT, Texas (AP) - Police called to a variety store by a burglar alarm overnight found a toddler inside, playing with the toys. Police said store surveillance video showed the unidentified boy trying to open one of the front doors to a Family Dollar store about 3 a.m. Monday, only to find it locked. But the second door was unlocked and the child went inside.
That triggered the silent alarm.
Detective Randy Stevens said the child apparently unlocked a door at his nearby home, got out, then crossed a multilane street to reach the store.
A canvass of the neighborhood turned up a family member searching for the child.
CPS spokeswoman Shari Pulliam said Child Protective Services claimed oversight of a 4-year-old boy during a review of the incident. The boy will be allowed to stay with other relatives, not the parents, during the CPS review period. link
THIS WAS NOT MY CHILD!
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