Sometimes I let her come home, after which I make her sit on her bed. After a nap (that she needs because she stalled for three hours at bedtime last night, a fact which is neither here nor there), she gets up and "FEELS FINE!" And then the remainder of my afternoon/evening is spent reminding her that the reason she can't go outside is because she's sick...remember?
I'm done letting her come home.
Today when she called, I told her to go back to class and Take It Easy, and to come home when school is over. I figure that if she was really sick, a nurse or a teacher or someone other than Herself will get on the phone and tell me about it.
HOW DO YOU HANDLE THESE SITUATIONS??
More specifically, IF YOU'VE WORKED IN A SCHOOL, PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL WHEN KIDS CALL HOME BECAUSE THEY'RE SICK AND THEIR PARENTS MAKE THEM STAY AT SCHOOL.
13 comments:
Ok, maybe she has some anxiety? I was the exact same way when I was in jr high. I would call my mom because I would feel sick, come home and feel fine. My mom finally took me to the dr because "there's nothing wrong you" just so he could tell me the same thing. He made me drink prune juice everyday for a while. But he also told me that when I feel the butterflies, just to do deep breathing and try to relax. My daughter now has trouble with anxiety and will often say she is sick before school. We tell her she has to go to school and if she throws up then she can come home. Usually once she gets there, she's fine. I'm sorry this is so long...
Does she call about the same time each day? Maybe there is a correlation--maybe she is allergic to something at lunch or gets afraid of a certain teacher or student around the same time?
Maybe she has mono. Or is just really bored.
But I like the doctor visit idea for sure.
No idea - but I like Silverstein. You don't think it's kids bothering her? I have no idea.
Sissy G did this too. For Years. At first I would go get her and bring her home. Then only on occasion, when I knew she was having a rough time. After it kept going on....I told her to go poop and/or eat lunch and/or take some deep breaths and/or call me after recess....the calls were less frequent.
Sissy's seemed to be anxiety related--but she tends to be a drama queen. When I quit playing into it, she bucked up some.
I agree with you on not making it pleasant or fun when she comes home.
ps. except just once in awhile...let it be okay.
I had to be bleeding out of both eyes, my ears, and my nose before I could ever go home. That is probably why I cut class so much in high school.
Regardless, I think the ladies are onto something with the anxiety issues.
I know when the Princess senses that I might be sensitive to her plight of sickness, etc. She will jump at the chance to stay home.
I never got to go home. NEVER.
I was about to suggest you ignore it and make her stay, and then I remembered what made me feel the same way when I was her age: being bullied. I didn't have a lot of friends and some of the girls around me did some low level bullying. I would beg, cry, and try to fake sick to get out of elemetary school and my mom never fell for it. It's worth an investigation.
We went through this with both of older kids at some point (I think Maddie was in 2nd grade, Molly in 1st). I was that way too. . .I think I actually did throw up like every other day of kindergarten (the nurse knew my home phone number by heart. . ) Anyway, I'd bet that it's something else that's bugging her whether she wants to chat about it or not, or maybe she's just a homebody (I think that was me). One thing we did that worked was that they could take a picture of the family and have it in their pocket (I told the teacher so she wasn't going to take away whatever it was). The other thing we did was say that if they made it through lunch (Maddie would always say she was sick right before lunchtime) THEN she could call just to "check in".
I'd maybe check with the school about the phone calling issue. . I know when my kids are really sick it IS the nurse, health aide, whatever calling. . .then I could tell the nurse, "Ok, have her wait about 15 minutes and see how she does.", by then whatever it was, it was usually over. Sometimes I think kids are worse if they are doing the calling, or start talking with you, and they automatically NEED to come home.
Golly, that was WAY too long. . .maybe I should've emailed!!
Sorry to barg in. I've read before but never posted. Thought I'd put my two cents in.
My oldest has done this since he was in 1st grade (he's now in 9th). Believe me, it's been very hard to not totally lose it with him over the years!! But, he's a very anxious child and many times has literally become sick over school issues.
Here's what we've done: He calls me if he's feeling really sick. I ask him about his day, what classes/tests does he have coming up, what classes/tests did he just take...a run down of the day. 99% of the time we can figure out his "trigger" and talk it over.
Last year he called me maybe once a month (which is a HUGE decline for him)and this year I haven't had any calls-yet. He does the thinking process on his own now he's told me.
He also told me, even though he can deal with it himself now, it makes him feel better knowing that if he did need me I would be there for him.
bribes.
Cold Stone if she can stay in school for a week.
definitely talk to the staff to see what they think.
Lu does this too, but I agree with the other posters, that it is anxiety related (for Lu, that is)....
Jacob has just picked up on it too. Yesterday he didn't want to go to gymnastics and so he cried and cried and then resorted to "I don't feel good. Gymnastics makes me sick" and finally "Gynsastics makes me feel weird". He still had to go, but I am glad to see that the tradition is being passed down... sigh.
My kids probably hate me because they try to say they don't feel well either and my rules are
1. If they have a fever they don't go or they can come home -- whichever the case is.
2. If they have the throw-ups or the 'down-downs' then they come home.
3. If they are legitmately "sick" at school, a school person will call too. I can kind of use that as a guage.
Sounds like you do what I do when my kids don't feel well, which means a lot of EXTRA work for me but they don't get any "fun" stuff going on because they were SICK.
This is actually the first time I've ever stumbled upon your blog (from mormon mommy blogs) and oddly enough I had the same problem with my 2nd grader a few weeks ago. The last time he called me to come get him because he thought he was going to throw up I let him know that since he was sick we were going to the doctor. I took him in that afternoon and the doctor told him that was not sick and he was fine to go to school. On the way home from the doctor I let him know that if he called again I wasn't coming to get him since the doctor said he could stay at school. It's been over two weeks since he did it...after calling 3 times in 5 school days, I guess it worked. Good luck!
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