Sunday, April 29, 2007

The church dilemma

So, we caught some flack today for snaking a pew from another family.
But I ask you: Would you rather sit somewhere else or listen to two toddlers yell at eachother from across the chapel?

"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"
"It's Gigi!"
"Spencer Baby!"

(As it was, the two love birds spent the entire meeting under the pew, burping and spitting on each other, then howling with laughter. But guess what? I got to LISTEN to the speakers!)

Monday, April 23, 2007

Light the candles...babies coming.

I got this in an email the other day...

"Come to an educational workshop about how a baby's birth can dramatically impact their health, both immediately and long term. Symptoms like colic, ear infections, chronic sickness or colds, digestive challenges, and irritability can all be linked to the trauma from birth. We will discuss natural alternative answers to these challenges. "

So now we have to feel guilty if our births are not all candles, music and calm. Give me a break. My daughter had a pretty traumatic birth experience and she has never even had an ear infection ... and she is 11! (she was born with her leg bent the wrong way, got stuck coming out, and was wisked away to ICU before I got to see her - all is great now).

Sunday, April 22, 2007

You are a good mommy today because... are undoubtedly not the mommy who taught these young children ignorance and hatred.
So pat yourself on the back no matter what kind of day it was for you today, then hope there are enough of us mommies out there trying to teach our kids love, tolerance and acceptance to outnumber those who continue to selfishly foster ignorance and bigotry.

Children are NOT born this way.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Einstein Never Used Flash Cards

I'm finally getting around to reading this book. It's been sitting on the shelf collecting dust. They sent it to me for reviewing the DVD sample that was mailed to me a few years ago. (Which, ironically, was a DVD to basically teach you how to play with your kid....geeez people!!!!!!)

So I'm only 7 pages into the book and so far, so good. In fact, it has sucked me in! I'll probably finish it this weekend, so it will go in the "Books to Loan" queue for anyone who's interested.

The following excerpt provided me with a "Good Mommy/Bad Mommy" moment.
It got me thinking more about the whole "expert" advice on being a mommy and how that affects the peer pressure we often feel from other mommies. (On top of the self-doubt it heaps upon us!)

"After World War II, when Rosie the Riveter returned to the hearth from the factory, she needed to think of motherhood as valuable work that required special knowledge and training. Parents began to rely on child development experts for information on how to raise their children. In fact, at the White House Conference on Children in 1950, experts were worried that parents had become too dependent on expert advice! Beginning in the 1970's, as the number of dual-career families increased and as information about child development exploded, parents wanted to be certain they were making every moment with their children count. Faced with a sense of dwindling family time, parents turned to child development experts to find out how to best prepare their children for life."

What do you think? Expert advice has definitely become a huge part of child-rearing these days. Has "expert advice" done more to help or hinder you Good Mommy perspective? What about criticism from our peers? Do you think the experts do more to fan the flames or squelch debates?

P.S. My kid ran around the house half naked for the majority of the day. I'm a good mommy.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

If you want to contribute, please email me at

Also, send me $5. And some Sonic Tots. And a Lime Rickey.

(All through the interweb.)

Friday, April 13, 2007

the shortest post about breastfeeding you'll ever read

Breastfeeding is a wonderful, perfect system that will never be able to be duplicated in its entirety.

It's too bad that it's so heavily linked with self-esteem and self-worth.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Loved this post...

by the blog con queso chica....

...motherhood... whether you do or don't have a child is about love. That's it...


I haven't sent my kids to preschool. When we lived in Utah we did a co-op "preschool" once a week for an 1 1/2 hours. It was basically a structured play group. When I moved to New Hampshire I found that most people send their kids to preschool. I felt pressured, worried that Chloe would be behind. Then, in reading Ezra Taft Benson's talk "The Honored Place of Woman" I found this:

"We become enamored with men’s theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother’s influence."

And later:

"It is mother’s influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child’s basic character.

Home is the place where a child learns faith, feels love, and thereby learns from mother’s loving example to choose righteousness.

How vital are mother’s influence and teaching in the home—and how apparent when neglected!"

So, maybe I'm a bad mommie, but I won't be sending my kids to preschool as long as I'm at home. I don't have to do what my neighbors are doing. It's my choice, and I'm okay with it.

Why I am a Good Mommy Today

  • I made sure that I locked the front door before I fell asleep on the couch. That way at least they won’t find my three year old on the highway wearing only diapers.
  • I changed his diapers.
  • Right before I started the Cars movie for the second time (this morning) I put my son into a Cars movie t-shirt and a pair of clean (worn only once) shorts.
  • Since Cars makes the kid run laps around the living room, it's like organized exercise. I am preventing the obesity epidemic.
  • Too tired to fight the lure of the Easter Basket, I let him have his basket but I gave him a banana at the same time. It’s about letting kids choose their own consequences.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

dinner bell

I want to cook like Good Mommy. Let me tell you something, though.

I don't have time for that crap.

At least, not now. I'm not a bad cook. I don't think I'm necessarily known for good cooking, but I always get major compliments when I cook. That is, when I take the time to cook. Which doesn't happen often nowadays because, well, I'm busy doing other stuff.

I had a New Year's Resolution this year to try a different recipe each week. Apparently, when I made that goal, I didn't take into account that I had a newborn. (Or that I'd be having surgery the following month, but I couldn't have known that one.) It's been a struggle for me to let go of that goal, but in doing so I've come to a realization about our seasons. You know, a time for this, a season for that. I've decided that now is not my season to be trying new recipes. As much as Good Mommy should be whipping things up from scratch and infusing with tofu and topping with fresh berries, I am just not seeing how to do that AND make bottles at the same time. Maybe whole wheat and Similac can't exist in harmony at my house. Who knows. But I'm fine with this.

Here's what my current season includes: Kraft Dinner, Ramen, cereal (usually in the big bag), toast, "chicken" nuggets, frozen corn, jarred peaches, cheese slices, pretzels, bread (yes, plain), apples, pears. That's the main menu. My husband usually cooks breakfast (pancakes, or german pancakes), and also dinner (pancakes, or german pancakes). I have a new-found love for the frozen family-sized dinner. These are all foods I (or my husband) prepare for my family. Myself, I mainly eat pita chips and hummus (which, by the way, if you get both at Costco, I've found that the chip-bag-to-hummus-tub ratio is very, very good).

Maybe later my season for new recipes on a regular basis will come along. I'm still a good mommy.

In what cooking season do you currently find yourself?

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Good Mommies use wagons.

Big news--we are endangering our children. Again.

The AAP has pointed out that another thing we do is dangerous for our kids--grocery shopping.

According tho this panel of doctors, the grocery carts are to blame, but reading the statements sure makes it seem like it is all the fault of Bad Mommies.

"Many parents go to the store with their kids and don't think twice about putting their little ones in the cart while they shop. But the nation's top doctors say this is a dangerous behavior that parents should try to avoid."

Think about this statement-- Top Doctors say that putting your child in a shopping cart is dangerous behavior. Are you kidding me? I just saw SuperNanny tell me that I needed to make grocery shopping a game for my kids! And in LDS Living Magazine they recommended letting my child DO the shopping so that she could learn about budgeting! But I can't use the cart around my children, because that would be dangerous. And Good Mommies are always cognizant of the dangers awaiting children at every step.

And the dangers are REAL! And EVERYWHERE!

"Shopping cart-related injuries are common: In 2005, more than 24,000 kids were treated in emergency rooms for these types of injuries, according to the AAP. Most of the injuries occurred when a child fell from the shopping cart, the cart tipped over, the child became entrapped in the cart, or the child fell while riding on the outside of the cart.
The most common shopping cart-related injuries were to the head and neck, which accounted for 74 percent of injuries among children younger than 15"

Wait a minute--these common injuries happened to over 24,000 kids? That is a lot, right?! Well, not really. Child Trends Data Bank puts the number of children in the US in 2005 at 73.5 MILLION. That means that shopping cart injuries happened to about one percent of the children in the United States in 2005. If I go to Vegas and put money on Red at Roulette I have almost a three percent chance of winning. (Of course, Good Mommies don't gamble, so that is beside the point.)

Luckily for us, the AAP has given us alternatives to putting our children in the grocery cart:
So what's a parent to do? Instead of putting your little one in a shopping cart, the AAP says you should:

Get another adult to come with you to watch your kids while shopping.
Put children in strollers, wagons, or frontpacks instead of in shopping carts.
Ask older children to walk and praise them for behaving and staying nearby.
Leave children at home with another adult.
Shop online if local stores offer shopping on the Internet

Oh, wait! They were serious.

Guess what? No. I am a good mother, and I am currently without friends, adults, or a spouse at home. I refuse to be frightened by what is, essentially a slow news day article. I seldom leave the house as it is, and I need milk and bananas because 'Lil Duce must rub bananas on her skin or else I get the hose again. And I refuse to be frightened by yet another "danger" for my child.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Contributors wanted

I am not the most eloquent, or the smartest, or the most fed up--and I would love to have some help from you. I don't care what kind of a Mommy you are, as long as you don't try to get me to finger paint.

Welcome to my thing.

I have been thinking.
For a while.
About how inadequate I must seem as a mother.
So I made this chart:

Good Mommy /Bad Mommy
*Stays at home with kid /*Mostly hates staying at home with kid
*Has educational toys/books /*Allows Pooh movies up to twelve times a day
*Tries to instill values in kid /* Through Pooh movies
*Can bake, clean, sew, and craft /* Does not.
*Sanitizes things /* Not even the kid.
*Beautifully feminine /* Feminist
*Fulfilled /* Desperately lonely, bored, and cranky

I went to the blogs (and I drank from the fountain) and found the following posts:

Things I sewed for my kids
Things I baked for my kids
Whole wheat waffles I made fresh for my kids
Expensive products I bought for my kids

Then I had to stop, because I was getting a little dizzy and even more desperate, lonely, bored, and cranky.

And I started this blog. I envision it to be a place where I can expose the ridiculosity of the 21st century mothering ideal, vent, and not ever be guilted into doing finger paints with my kid. And I would like your input, and your help.

Because I am sick (and tired) of the trap I have stumbled into via my choice in mothering lifestyles.

Because I adore my kid. She is fabulous. I want to eat her face, most days, she is that delicious. But she is not my whole life.

Because I stay at home because I know it is the right choice for my family, but resent the heck out of it a third of the time.

Because I don't stay up late at night dreaming of ways to enrich my kid.

Because I might do something crafty, but it won't get finished.

Because I have a daughter who needs to understand that Mommy is more than a Mommy, and that she is more than a Princess, Bad Girl, Rock Star, or Tom Boy, no matter what the media tells her.

Because having a child is not the end-all-be-all of womanhood, no matter what the media tells me.

Because I am a frickety-fracking Amazing Mommy, no matter which side of the list I fall under. And I am pretty sure that you are, too.