Friday, December 11, 2009

Now for the Flabbergasted response

I have to give credit to my friend Cabesh. I think I was so utterly stunned that someone would be this uptight about something that they'd send me an email that evening of the activity to complain... that I really was at a complete loss. I wanted to do the right thing... but my lunatic meter was vibrating like mad. When crazy people do crazy things... surprising me a bit... I start to think I am crazy.

So I took Cabesh's email and just added a few details. If it were me, off the cuff... I'd be much less charitable - because I can't stand ridiculous behavior, immature, and insecure women. They drive me crazy, and cause ridiculous amounts of drama, requiring the rest of us to tiptoe around on eggshells.

Dear Parent,

I'm so sorry that your daughter didn't have an enjoyable time at our class activity last night. We were really striving to build sisterhood and friendship amongst the girls while celebrating the birth of our Savior and the spirit of giving. Our Pres/Laurel advisor was sick last night so we went ahead and had the Laurels combine with us. There were only three of them.

I'm not sure which gift your daughter brought or who it ended up with (me, or one of the other leaders, or a laurel). When we have activities, as leaders we try to participate as much as we can to create enthusiasm and to teach by example-- it's amazing how much more willing the girls are to do service and to be involved when they see that we leaders are into it. So, with that as our general philosophy, we did participate in the gift exchange.

When it was my turn to pick a gift, I let my 3yo go pick one out for me. When that gift was "stolen" (we allowed 3 steals per gift) I let my 5yo have a turn to pick my gift. I'm not sure what the standard rules are other than whoever brings a gift gets to participate. It seemed like everyone was having a great time, and girls at this age are so great with little ones. In fact they were encouraging my girls to pick certain gifts when they were picking them in my place. We also had three extra gifts left over so we let one of the leaders who didn't bring a gift pick one out. Then the YW decided they wanted to give the leftover two gifts to my girls. I guess I should have told the girls they were not allowed to give them to my girls. If your daughter's gift is one of the three that ended up in my home I'd be happy to return it to her so she can pass it on to one of the other YW. Please let me know which one it was.

Again, I am sorry that your daughter felt disappointed. I hope that she knows how much we love and appreciate her. She is quite talented at offering ideas when we're planning activities.

Merry Christmas,

ps. I have been waiting for a response... and guess what... not a shocker - there hasn't been one. Bets on if she ever will? Or maybe just sneer and continue the cold-front towards my family. Oh...and I need to mention... her oldest daughter let slip her father is racist against... Asians. Nice huh? He was recently released as our Home Teacher... don't worry he only came once out of obligation. (thank heavens...) Living in Calif...a racist... how ignorant can you get???

pps. I'm being released as Beehive adviser and moved into Laurels this Sunday. Which is kind of a relief. Because now I finally get to work with a woman (my friend/pres of yw) who knows who she is, is confident, and a great example...and knows how to be a leader.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


WE recently had a Beehive activity (for 12-13 yr old girls)... at my home, where I baked chocolate chunk cookies and sugar cookies and provided hot chocolate. We did a white elephant gift exchange where the leaders participated because that's how you foster enthusiasm for activities, etc... As it was at my house... I let my 3 yr old pick out my gift when it was my turn. She picked a box of Andes mints... because she likes chocolate. It was quickly "stolen" from her. So I had my 5 yr old go and pick out a present for me. She was a bit terrified at first because all the girls started coaxing her to take this present and that present. The majority wanted her to pick the giant present. So she did... it was a bag of skittles and a chili pepper pinata.

It never did get stolen from her.

Then at the end of it all... there were three extra gifts left. So we let a leader who hadn't brought anything take a gift. Then the girls decided to give my girls the remaining two gifts - a plastic sword and a big ball of string.

That evening I receive the following email from one of the parents of the girls.

Thank you for your help with the Beehives, I know it can be a handful! I wanted to let you know of a small concern I had about tonight's activity (and please know that I realize I wasn't there). My daughter & I had worked to come up with a white elephant gift for tonights activity. We were under the impression that the game was for the beehives only. When I picked her up I was disappointed to hear that the items we picked didn't end up with a beehive girl. I felt like if this was a Christmas item exchange for the girls to think of each other and have fun, then it missed the mark when the game didn't follow the standard rules. I appreciate your working with the girls and I hope you can understand that when they have a negative experience it becomes that much harder for me to keep them interested in coming.
Thank you for your hard work and concern,

Should I mention she's our Primary President??? (

I'll post my response after I hear what ya'll have to say.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

has this happened to you?

so my 14-year-old did something stupid and unkind the other day. part of me is angry and disappointed. but part of me knows this has happened, at one time or another, to a lot of people. so i'd like to hear your stories and about how you handled it if it ever happened to you.

despite my repeated pleas she "play nice," she was dissing a friend to a group of other friends (to be fair, they were all dissing that girl. mean, i know. but also very 14). while she was going off the girl walked in and heard what she said.

the girl is, of course, crushed. i wish i had the power to take her hurt away and unbreak her heart, but i don't.

i would, however, like to know how to help my daughter apologize. (not that she listens to me. much. but i'd like to try.) she does feel badly (she has a conscience after all). but she is more prone to avoid the situation than woman up and say she's sorry.

your thoughts?