I forgot that three year olds are evil.

I haven't posted here before, but I am going to start. It is a way to start to log some of the parenting stuff that I can't really go into on my blog (because my kids read my blog but don't know about this one yet...).

Can someone remind me where the magic button is on my three year old to make her stop being so sullen, stubborn and defiant? I can't seem to find it. On the one hand I am thrilled for her to hit a developmental milestone on time after being behind for so many years, but the reality is that she is a STINKER--my hardest kid yet.

Time outs don't work. She could care less about getting vinegar on her tongue (always worked with the others), we do 1, 2, 3, etc. I feel like my tried and true things are not working. Any suggestions? What worked for you? I think I just need a refresher course before I duct tape her to her bed and not let her out until she is 9.

Hey Ladies,

Too Ridiculous to be Fiction

... okay... today I'm posting a bad father story.

It's my husband's father. I just can't help but ask... shout to the universe - who does this kind of crap?

About 2-3 years ago my husband's mother and oldest brother were killed in a car accident in Hungary. The youngest brother, who they were picking up from his mission in Hungary, was the only one in the car that escaped all injury. He also had two friends in the car with them who were both injured. The father had stayed behind in the hotel that day.

Since that point in time my husband's father - who still had six, grown children to comfort and support, as they had lost their mother and brother - checked out. He continued to act selfishly, immaturely and frankly... displayed his true character...we think.

He was not an achiever, and is a porn addict. His wife was an achiever, college degree, school board, well-known in the community, and Church. The big joke in their family was that when they were to be married in the temple she hoped he wouldn't show up... and he joked that he thought the same thing. She was always disappointed he didn't serve a mission, or even complete a college degree. He was always losing jobs. Everyone considered him weak. They blamed her for it. Turns out, without her to hide behind, his selfish, petty nature was exposed.

Little less than a year or so he met a woman online. She is a woman who'd lived on welfare her entire life. And said that her quadriplegic husband left her and her kids. Can someone explain that one to me? Due to the death of his wife - my husband's father used the insurance money and went on a spending spree with his new girlfriend. Lavish, excursions... etc... despite the fact that the kids all knew, based on emails and other discovery... their father decided to marry this woman in the LDS temple in Hawaii. The kids were not at that ceremony.

Then my husband's father and his new wife started to unceremoniously discard anything, and everything of my husband's mother. They were insensitive to the feelings and emotions the six kids were going through.

And now... their father just emailed the kids in his family to tell them that his life insurance is set to be renewed soon - and he has opted, due to his squandering all his death money - can't afford his life insurance, and is throwing it over to the kids to decide whether they want to pay for it or not. Side note... he does have life insurance for his current wife...and he just recently leased a brand new car...and is unemployed.

What?????

Who does that?

The kids are trying to decide what to do...with legal backing etc... but my opinion? Wash our hands of it. Who cares about the life insurance... forget the pathetic loser.

I can't imagine... how my husband's mother had to suffer being married to someone who is a complete, and utter disappointment. Can you imagine her watching her husband completely mistreating her children right now? She's rolling over in her grave... to say that I loathe this person... who is not in any way a man... is merely an understatement. He's like a disease. I don't think it's any mistake that his first wife who was skinny when she married him... became extremely overweight. And now... his new welfare wife... started off skinny - and in the last 1-2 years has ballooned to twice her original size, leaning towards obese. He is a disgusting infection.

I am stunned that I know someone like this. It's utterly mental.

in other news...

sorry: i know i'm hogging the blog. ya'll should post something here. soon. please. (but in the meantime this is the last word from me for awhile.)

ahem. in other news...

this week i am a good mommy and I WILL pat myself on the back for not completely freaking out (in fact, for not freaking out even incompletely, except maybe a little little down deep inside my belly) when adult child/boy #2 asked me if i would be mad if he dropped out of school and became a mechanic. (because he is disinterested in ALL the majors in college.)

my audible reply: as long as you mean two years from now and not in the middle of this (already but barely paid-for) semester, no.

my silent reply: great. i only have two short years during which to pray my guts out he will discover some new passion while abroad and will come home and declare a major.

let us all pray.

accommodate

1 : to make fit, suitable, or congruous
2 : to bring into agreement or concord : reconcile
3 : to provide with something desired, needed, or suited (as a helpful service, a loan, or lodgings)
4 a : to make room for b : to hold without crowding or inconvenience
5 : to give consideration to : allow for

definition courtesy of merriam-webster

***********

there is a brief moment between falling out of sunday and jumping in to yet another busy week during which i actually breathe. then monday morning rushes at me and i don't feel like the world stops spinning again until that quiet moment sunday morning (or afternoon, as the case may be) after i slide across the back-row bench at church and breathe again.

during that moment just last night that now somehow seems like ages ago, i stopped to contemplate how i was going to

get to the gym (6:00)

come home (7:30)

shower and get ready for work

help k~ get ready

(will there be time for breakfast somewhere in there?)

run zack up to a drumline event at byu (8:30)

go to work early (9:00)

leave work on time (2:30) because i will only have one hour to get to the grocery store and pick up ingredients for chili, run home and defrost the sausage, wash out the crockpot still soaking from yesterday's knock-off cafe rio, brown the meat and toss in all the rest of the ingredients (which are no longer written down, so they may vary from time to time) and then

pick up k~ from school (3:30)

before leaving for suzie's softball game (4:00)

***********

they started the game early, which meant i missed her first hit (a double) as member of the phs softball team.

sigh

but i sat on the cold hard ground (didn't realize there was a shocking lack of bleacher space at the high school ball field) and cheered.

because that's what moms do.

i ran home in between games intending to change out of my work clothes and into something warmer and to drop off some chili to my friend jane who just had foot surgery, as i had promised to bring her some dinner.

got a call from suze, who is required to stay until all the games are played. she was not, after all, going to be playing in the next game (which meant i didn't have to go back). but she was hungry. i told her i'd send over a cup of chili. she didn't want chili. she wanted take-out. (can you hear the echo of the minced-fish girl in your head as i write this?)

and this is where all the accommodating came screeching to a halt.

she wanted take-out?

and after all i had packed into that day, in part, in a deliberate effort to avoid fast food.

not to mention my having created an awesome batch of homemade that's-homemade-from-scratch...so-scratch-there-is-no-real-recipe chili.

"no," i said.

i refuse.

i. will. not...spend good money (even off the dollar menu--it's still good money) for bad take-out that is, at least for tonight, so completely unnecessary.

i handed the phone to my husband and walked out the front door. i walked to jane's, cradling a piping hot quart jar of chili in my pocket with one hand and carrying fresh french bread and lindt chocolate in the other, because i'd lent my car (which happens to be the only one of our four vehicles that is running properly at the moment) to zack, who was trying to find someone who could pull off the mouthpiece from k~'s trumpet because it needs to be fixed before his concert on thursday.

later, after the game was over, and suze had devoured a nice hot bowl of homemade chili, i went back out into the cold to big 5 because there is another game tomorrow (and the next day, and the next, and a tournament this weekend) and the coach says they have to have a second pair of sliders. this one black. because while the white ones are fine under their white pants, they must have black ones for under their black shorts.

oh, and she needed new cleats.

she paid for half of her new cleats (which were not name brand and which were on sale) with her own money. she did this willingly. and said "thank you."

and i bought myself a swim cap.

because i needed one.