But I just have to share with you something I found written by my 12-year-old daughter. It looks like it must have been an assignment for school. It reads as follows:
When I look in the mirror I see a really cool person. I see a sort of tall, smart, Athletic, musical & colorful person. I love coming to school and I have alot of friends.
When I wake up I think 'Today is going to be a great day.' I'm a really friendly person who loves live."
I sincerely hope as her mother I never do or say anything that would diminish this beautiful sense of herself that she--against all odds really--currently has. I will strive to be even more unrelenting in my efforts to help her know who she is--and to value herself simply because she is who she is--as the media and society are in commanding her to conform to their sick and distorted standards of whom they think she should be.
And now I ask you, what can I do to ensure that at age 14 and again at 16 and even when she is finally 18 (after that she's on her own) she still sees someone so beautiful when she looks in the mirror?
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7 comments:
I would love to discover that piece of paper one day :) That was awesome!!
I only have a -0.25, 2, & 5 year old so maybe I don't have all the answers, but I WAS a 14/16/18 year old at some point. I'd say live that way. Even through all the painful teenage moments, just keep living that way and showing her what kind of person to be. There's nothing you will "say" necessarily that will be the right thing. It'll be your actions and your family interactions. Once again, I'm not there though so :) GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!! :) And tell me how to really do it when I get there.
I am glad that it didn't say "I see a person who detests her mother."
Keep letting her know that she is loved by you no matter what. That helps a lot. And that there is nothing that she can say that will shock you. That is my suggestion.
You've got experts on board alright.
All I can add is pray your guts out.
That is great that you found that, it shows how well of a job you are doing. You are influencing her to become the woman she already is, it's just waiting to bloom.
Jillian
I've been reading a lot about how to raise confident, strong girls, because my own teenager-hood was such a horrendous mess that I feel I need some book learnin' so that I can get a feel for how it's SUPPOSED to go. They say letting girls have the opportunity to challenge themselves and excel - at something - anything, is key to developing strength and confidence.
Sounds like you're already doing a great job. I hope I find a note like that in my daughters' room when they are older.
She won't hate you... when she's older she'll be grateful you recorded this...because she'll need to do it again... This reminds me of when I was in YW... I surrounded myself with quotes and such...to stay positive and two I remember:
"WE become what we think about."
"The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." (helen keller) and...I think her quote is...kind of right.
Hi there --
I just wanted to write and let you know that I love when you stop by my blog and comment. So smart! Happy holidays.
-Jennifer James
Black Breatsfeeding Blog
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