I am so tired of being a Bad Mommy. How do I know I am a Bad Mommy? Because my daughter keeps telling me. She is almost four.
I try my hardest every doggone day. Some days my hardest is pretty pathetic. Some days it is near-heroic.
And every day she cries for her father, her grandparents, her cousins. She tells me "I don't like you." She hits and fights and lies refuses to listen and I am so incredibly sick of it.
I know that there is nothing that can take the place of the mother, but I am at the point where I would be willing to test that statement.
I know that she is only four; I know that she doesn't understand all of what she is saying and doing. I know that she certainly doesn't mean to break my heart every single night. But I also know that other kids don't seem to be doing this. Other kids are talking about Jesus and helping and being like Mommy.
Which means that every night I get on my knees, sometimes in tears, and pray to know what I am doing wrong.