(hopefully) there are no small things

There are lots of things I don't get right about mothering. Some of it is a reaction to my own childhood (I will never ever force my child to eat). Some of it is because I'm more suited to being a slacker mom than a helicopter mom. I'm not beating myself up about it here, it is what it is.

But every now and then I get something right. And what I love about getting something right is that instant reward you see in your child's eyes.

Today is one of L~'s best friend's birthdays. Her name is Alisa. And I love this girl. There are weeks and weekends in which she practically lives at my house (another story for another day). Not only is she a lot of fun, but when L~ is a real snot, Alisa always says to her "Don't treat your mom like that." She's a year younger than L~, so I have a lot of respect for her standing up for me like that.

This morning L~ came in and woke me up (usually I would have been first up, but I stayed up too late last night reading about my new love--forensic anthropology). She'd had good intentions to get Alisa some balloons for her birthday and take them to school (not allowed, but Shhhh. Don't tell.). I was half asleep and let her work out her own dilemma and go back to her room, disappointed, to get ready.

And then I thought about what a good friend Alisa is and I figured I had just enough time to run L~ to Macey's for balloons and drop her off at school. I knew it would mean a lot to L~ to be able to do something like that and thoughtfulness is something I want to encourage in my kids.

I really wanted to stay in bed, so I almost didn't do it.

But I willed myself to full consciousness and forced myself get up and find L~ to suggest my idea.

And there it was. That brief but rewarding sparkle in her eyes, where just for a moment, she perceived and registered the love behind my offer.

"Thank you," she said.

And she meant it.





I meant it, too.

am I weird?

Wait. Don't answer that.

Yesterday I ran into work for about an hour and a half (because I had to) and I mentioned how I was torn: I hate to pull PTO (which is silly, I know--I should be grateful to have it!) but at the same time I wanted to hurry home because I felt badly for my son, who is getting bored over being laid up after surgery.


A comment was made about my kid being old enough I didn't need to entertain him. I replied that I wanted to be home and that I did have a lot to do.

By the time I got home some of Z~'s friends had dropped by and they were all hanging out in my living room. (So I would have been perfectly fine staying at work.)

I offered them food. We visited while I went through the mail and cleaned up the dining room. And I realized it wasn't about my feeling the need to entertain. I really do want to be home when my kids are home.

I like spending time with my kids.

Is that so weird?

bonus: opposable thumbs

Yesterday I had two things happen that I think the younger version of MommyMe would have found absolutely mortifying. Yet . . . the current version of MommyMe is confidently grateful for how each situation played out.

First scenario: I had gone to pick up one daughter from Reading Camp at school and left my oldest in charge of the sleeping one and the 4 year old (I had brought the newborn with me). Upon driving into our neighborhood I phoned my oldest to let her know that I was arriving and to ask her to please open the garage for me (our opener is broken, and all the doors were triple-locked, as is her pleasure). When the garage door was open, I began to pull forward when my four year old, all bright-eyed and happy, opened the kitchen door and began to walk towards me. So I layed on the horn. Scared the crap out of her. She started bawling. This is where OldMommyMe would have felt so, so bad -- for scaring her, for making her cry. Instead, NowMommyMe immediately had the thought: "Good. She should be scared of this. And that was my intent: to scare her away from a moving vehicle."

Second scenario: I had to go to the market last night (yes, I call the grocery store 'the market') and oldest wanted to go with me. While I was doing the math in my head to add up the possibe combinations of 24 oz. or fewer of cereal, she asked if she could have an ice cream cone (from the deli). I gave her $2, told her to get two small cones, and then come find me. Since so many in my town spend their family night at the market, it was kind of crowded, but I moved swiftly to get the things I needed. Upon arriving near the milk, my phone rang. I didn't recognize the incoming number. "Hello?"

"Hi. Your daughter says she's lost you. We're at the store."

"Oh! Thank you. I'm by the milk."

"I'll let her know."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

A few seconds later I saw her wheeling towards me, holding an ice cream cone in each hand. She was not smiling. I greeted her warmly and asked what happened. With tears in her eyes she told me that she couldn't find me so she looked for a mommy with kids for help.

Exactly what I've taught her to do.

OldMommyMe would have broken down and cried, a little from embarrassment, but mainly from the negative, scary thoughts of what could have happened. NowMommyMe was swelling with pride and comfort that my daughter had done the absolute right thing, showing that she'd know what to do in a more serious situation.

And now . . . yes, it really is 4:something in the morning . . . NowMommyMe is getting ready for a (mortifying) marathon day at Primary Children's Hospital involving all sorts of tests -- an experience that OldMommyMe wouldn't even be able to comprehend.

Maximizing the Education Potentiality

So today I am an AMAZING mommy because I am encouraging my child's love of spatial exploration, chemistry, and understanding of mass.

Some people would just think I am letting her pour fish crackers into different bowls and, ultimately, the kiddie pool.

They would be wrong.