In over my head

So the 15-year-old is stuck in AP Euro class till the end of the term. She's in way over her head. Is she smart enough to pass this class? Yes. Is she willing to put in the kind of work that would be required for her to pass this class? No.

She's been bugging us to go to the library for a book she's supposed to read for class. I think it is due by next Thursday. Every time we've gone to take her she's made other plans. Finally I told her last night we were going that minute. When we got there asked her what book it was she needed. She couldn't remember the name of any of the books on the list, but she's looking for the one with the least number of pages, so had to text a friend and ask.

"A Tale of Two Cities"

Nuh-uh. If I had a dime for every time I picked up that book and put it back down again... I only finally made myself read the whole thing about 10 years ago. And I'm an English major.

Today the following e-mail exchange took place:

Me:

Hi Mr. Smith,

Could you please provide me with the list of books to be read for your AP Euro class? I want to make sure Lindsay is reading the right book for her.

Thank you very much--

Dalene

Mr. Smith:

Here's the list:

1. Candide - Voltaire

2. War and Peace - Tolstoy

3. 7 Men of Gascony - Delderfield

4. Napoleon - Schom

5. Lorna Doone – Blackmore

6. Tale of Two Cities – Dickens

7. Three Musketeers – Dumas

8. Don Quixote - Cervantes

9. Wealth of Nations - Smith

Thanks!

My fifteen-year-old...War and Peace? Candide? Don Quixote? By December 9?

Yeah, right.

Advice

So my oldest who is five is a bright, fun and thoughtful girl. She's also extremely melodramatic, and can't seem to let things go... everything that doesn't go her way is literally the end of the world in her mind.

Lately this behavior is disruptive in her class. I am at a loss as to how to deal and manage her behavior...and help her change it.

This morning as we walked to her class, she was running around with her friends and her umbrella when her ponytail came loose and her clip holding her bangs fell out...and she had a sobbing breakdown, halfway to her classroom. I explained that standing there and crying would not fix her hair, the best choice was to walk over to her classroom and then I could fix it for her. She was incredibly worried about what people would think of her.

Eventually she calmed down and we were able to get in line and do her hair, give her a hug and a kiss. I talked to her about how when she was crying and freaking out it didn't help solve the problem. I explained that being calm and having me help her solved the problem. I could tell she was still holding onto those frantic emotions she had. I watched her walk into the classroom with her classmates and then watched as she broke down into tears again.

That's when I went over and she did her routine, "I'm scared!" and "everyone's looking at me" (when no one cares or is even looking at her) talk and starts to really freak herself out... she knows how to make herself more and more agitated...to the point where once she has her freak out she's fine. Every kid in the 24 kid classroom walked in, deposited their coats, backpacks, lunch boxes and then picked their work box up from their cubbies and sat down to work. My daughter was cowering next to me, refusing to let it go. The teacher eventually had to come over and work her magic. She is magic to me. I told her how sorry I was and her teacher told me to go take a breath, she'd take care of it.

This is frustrating because... intellectually - my 5 year old is at the top of her class... socially... incredibly immature when it comes to anything that doesn't go her way.

What do I do??? I've started to give her specific, consistent chores... ever since she was 18 months she's been into her appearance... she's so overly aware of details and what people think... or what she thinks people think ... I worry that if we don't get things taken care of now...she's going to have a hard go of it as a teen with peer pressure.

I don't know what to do. My 3 year old could not give a rat's bum what anyone else thinks. Rewards, timeouts... don't work on her. With my 5 year old... anytime she's told to go to timeout for talking back, poking her sister in the eye, etc... it's instant tears and manipulation "you don't love me, you hate me... you don' t think I'm cute."

Help?