Wednesday, December 9, 2009


WE recently had a Beehive activity (for 12-13 yr old girls)... at my home, where I baked chocolate chunk cookies and sugar cookies and provided hot chocolate. We did a white elephant gift exchange where the leaders participated because that's how you foster enthusiasm for activities, etc... As it was at my house... I let my 3 yr old pick out my gift when it was my turn. She picked a box of Andes mints... because she likes chocolate. It was quickly "stolen" from her. So I had my 5 yr old go and pick out a present for me. She was a bit terrified at first because all the girls started coaxing her to take this present and that present. The majority wanted her to pick the giant present. So she did... it was a bag of skittles and a chili pepper pinata.

It never did get stolen from her.

Then at the end of it all... there were three extra gifts left. So we let a leader who hadn't brought anything take a gift. Then the girls decided to give my girls the remaining two gifts - a plastic sword and a big ball of string.

That evening I receive the following email from one of the parents of the girls.

Thank you for your help with the Beehives, I know it can be a handful! I wanted to let you know of a small concern I had about tonight's activity (and please know that I realize I wasn't there). My daughter & I had worked to come up with a white elephant gift for tonights activity. We were under the impression that the game was for the beehives only. When I picked her up I was disappointed to hear that the items we picked didn't end up with a beehive girl. I felt like if this was a Christmas item exchange for the girls to think of each other and have fun, then it missed the mark when the game didn't follow the standard rules. I appreciate your working with the girls and I hope you can understand that when they have a negative experience it becomes that much harder for me to keep them interested in coming.
Thank you for your hard work and concern,

Should I mention she's our Primary President??? (

I'll post my response after I hear what ya'll have to say.


ClistyB said...

I'm stunned...
...that this was such a big deal to her and her daughter that she felt the need to tell you about it.
...that she couldn't speak to you in person about it.

This goes on my "What the...?" list.

Cari said...

If the girls or rather her daughter have a hard time with this then I feel it would be because of what her mother talks about and her bad attitude. It sounds like it was a great fun evening and she is just plain crazy. I am in YW here in my ward. When I accepted the calling I had concerns about it as my husband is gone during the week and my last child is 10 and for me to attend all things she would, on occasion, have to come with me. He assured me that this was ok. Some of the girls have complained that they had to wait until they were 12 and so should she. I leave her as often as I can it just doesn't seem that on a stormy night she should stay home when she knows I am going bowling with her friends. So I take her and get some flack. I have offered to give up my calling so they can be happy. The Bishop encouraged me to have a loving and understanding talk with those that were involved and to pray about it first. He said he really felt that Heavenly Father understood my predicament and it would be a good experience for them to learn about loving each other and having empathy for a lonley child. I would want to talk to this lady and pray that my words would express that flexibility is important in the gospel. People are people and no situation is perfect. It doesn't sound like having younger or older women involved made it boring or less interesting. It always amazes me how folks spend so much time worrying about what should have happened and not caught the beauty of what did happen. A fun time with everyone involved.

cabesh said...

I noticed that, according to her email, the mother was upset about how things went down. Not the daughter. My guess: the daughter thought nothing of it until she hopped in the car and the mom said, "Who got your present?" And then the mom went off on how it wasn't a YW.

Also, it's RARELY the case that a Beehive doesn't want to go to activities--fighting that battle usually doesn't start until Laurels. So....again, I would say that it's the mom who isn't motivated to get het daughter there when things like this happen.

Sounds like a mommy issue to me.

Tay said...

Whether or not it was a mom issue, it all comes down to her not trusting her daughter to make decisions. It sounds to me like it was all unified when they wanted your girls to take a gift. And would she have rather her girl take her still-wrapped gift home with her? Now THAT would have made me not want to go back. Actually, a white elephant exchange that went really bad is what put a breach between myself and the other girls in my YW class. But that was because they were just mean, not because they gave my gift to my leader's little girl.

b. said...

I can't wait to see your response.

Seriously? This was an issue?

La Yen said...

I seriously thought that this was from Amy. Down to the President. Same issues.

And, by issues, I mean "NON-ISSUES."
I would talk to the daughter about it. And tell her that if she sincerely feels upset about it you will absolutely return the freaking pinata. I think she will either be relieved to get it back, or say "No big deal." And then you get to say "Really? Because when you say "No Big Deal" I hear "This is not an issue and I will absolutely be at YW next week because I am thrilled to be a Beehive."" And if she hems and haws, then you follow up.
And I would ALSO bring it up at the presidency meeting. And I would passive the MONKEY out of it. To the point that the other leaders say "Really? I don't see the problem!"

But I am TOTALLY un-Christlike lately. And women are pissing me off.

(I need to have you and Cabesh in my ward to temper me.)

La Yen said...

Also--how on earth does "A ball of string" count as "thinking of each other." It is not like they left a hand-knit replica of the Urim and Thummim behind as a leftover.


AzĂșcar said...

I'm with La Yen.

gurrbonzo said...


Is that a joke?

Please bless you treated it as a joke and told the mom you loved her email and it was hysterical how she pretended to be so ridiculous.

Queen Scarlett said...

Thanks ladies... glad to know sanity exists in the Church. ;-)

Cari - I want to tell you how royally PISSED off I am for you. This behavior is ridiculous. Apparently those girls are not being mirrored any kind of empathy at home... or they are just a bunch of spoiled, mean girls. OBNOXIOUS!

Going to send a prayer your way tonight... you're awesome to push through this... honestly... this is why the men are in charge...

cabesh said...

"Also--how on earth does "A ball of string" count as "thinking of each other." It is not like they left a hand-knit replica of the Urim and Thummim behind as a leftover."

La Yen, you made me snort!