Sometimes it is Okay to Feel Superior

God love her, I am so glad that this is not me or my child. Bless her heart.
Mummy's Little Lolita

Bad Mommy...

Confession.

So last weekend I had this feeling I needed to take my flu virus ridden 20 month old to the urgent care center to have her ears checked out. She hadn't been sleeping well and felt miserable.

But... I figured since her big sister who's prone to ear infections came back from her appointment that Mon without an ear infection... and a Daddy who took her saying "I told you so".... that I was just being my typical over-reacting self.

You should see how often I go to the doctor... I'm a little nuts.

Finally on Tuesday I take my poor ... baggy eyed baby to the doctor. She has an ear infection. The left is worse than the right...and I am devastated.

I feel like the meanest mommy in the world. The doctor knows me well enough that he tries to pretend he doesn't seem me with the tears...he tells me not to crucify myself.

I know better... I know that when she was up every hour for a boobie I was getting grumpy-tired. I know that even though she stuck to me like glue every morning and I loved it...I was also trying to figure out how I could distract her so I could get chores done.

All I could do was kiss my baby and tell her I was sorry. Oh...and apologize for being so mean and agreeing when her Daddy said to turn off the monitor at night... he said she'd need to learn to cry it out and learn to sleep. This was before we knew for sure it was an ear infection... but she was still sick. I let him do that... what is wrong with me? She was in pain and needed me.

Anyway... my little wake up call to trust my instinct ...and always better to be sure. Poor baby - she's my little happy one that loves to turn to smile at me.

Move over, Brit

Today I noticed that, overnight, Jooj had grown out of her pajama top, rendering it a half-shirt worthy of a guest appearance on TeenNick.

I think that her growth spurt is because I feed her so well. Take this morning:

What do you want for breakfast?

"Candy and peas."

Well, Okay. If you sit on the potty.

"And Pink soda."

Fine.

Feelin' Sad

On Kalea's first day of preschool we were followed into class by a sad looking, little blonde boy and his... I couldn't quite figure out if it was his Grandma or ...how she was related to him. I was trying to figure out how many mixes were required to achieve a blonde (white blonde...playboy blonde) boy from a Grandma who was clearly Latina.

I was taking pictures of Kalea, and the Grandma asked me if I developed them, or something. I told her I was just taking some so that I could preserve the memory and allow Daddy to get a peek at her first day too.

We kept chatting and I found out that she was the nanny. Yep, a nanny brought this 3 year old to his first day of preschool.

Juxtapose that with all the moms and some daddies who took the day off to be at the first day of school. The poor little guy - my heart broke for him.

Then this past Tuesday when I went to pick Kalea up - I think I was running 3-4 minutes behind - I stayed and chatted with the teachers and noticed this same blonde boy, listlessly hanging around. One of the teachers asked the one I was speaking to if the parents knew the time preschool got out. By the time I finished chatting it was 15 min or so past when pick up time is.

Is it me or is this just really sad? That was only the 3rd day of preschool. Makes me want to scoop the boy up and take him home with me. As I finally got the girls strapped into their car seats I saw an SUV (BMW or Lexus...they all look the same to me) pull up.

Sometimes - when the bare necessities aren't what we worry about, we need to sit back and evaluate if working to pay for a nanny and things we don't necessarily "need"... to figure out if we're really providing what our kids really need.